June 2012
35 posts
7 tags
no. 795 - @simplebits
Flu: 1, Flu Shot: 0. - @simplebits
Jun 1st
May 2012
73 posts
6 tags
no. 794 - @AdrianasWords
People who reply ‘K’ to a message are just too lazy to write potassium.@AdrianasWords
May 31st
May 30th
3 notes
May 30th
4 notes
9 tags
no. 793 - @joe_hill
Napping is my superpower.@joe_hill
May 30th
4 tags
no. 792 - @resila
Got tired of wife stealing the comforter. Finally hit on solution. Yep, NAILED IT! #behereallweek@resila
May 27th
3 tags
no. 791 - @spartacuffs
The nice thing about beingemptyinside is having lots of room foralcohol.@spartacuffs
May 27th
8 tags
no. 790 - @lenadunham
Magic skill: I can make even the cutest pair of shorts look like an adult diaper— Lena Dunham (@lenadunham) May 17, 2012 ~Illustrated by Joy and Noelle ofTwins Are Weird~ 
May 27th
May 26th
6 notes
May 26th
4 notes
May 26th
May 26th
4 notes
May 26th
3 notes
May 26th
4 notes
May 26th
1 note
May 26th
3 notes
May 26th
1 note
May 26th
2 notes
3 tags
no. 789 - @MR_ever_e
It’s Saturday night & beautiful out you should be out making mistakes instead of listening to npr @MR_ever_e
May 26th
5 tags
no. 788 - @mdvaldosta
I bet in hell you have to sleep in a hot bedroom with a pillow that never has a cool side.@mdvaldosta
May 25th
4 tags
no. 787 - @donni
Growing up is when you go from using drugs for fun to using drugs for survival.@donni    
May 25th
8 tags
no. 786 - @Undateable_Girl
Embracing these cramps because I think it means I’m not carrying the spawn of Satan@Undateable_Girl
May 24th
5 tags
no. 785 - @JoeFelice
Liked something in real life. Looked for like button. Was disappoint.@JoeFelice
May 23rd
5 tags
no. 784 - @IamEnidColeslaw
Love is letting a guy do for you what you could do for yourself in half the time & only one finger. - @IamEnidColeslaw
May 22nd
6 tags
no. 783 - @tyleroakley
~Original illustration by National Post cartoonist Gary Clement~Kim Kardashian earned $17,900,000 from her wedding and divorced 72 days later (but gays ruin the sanctity of marriage).@tyleroakley
May 20th
7 tags
no. 782 - @NoogsCorner
A shitty speech therapist, Yoda had. @NoogsCorner
May 20th
4 tags
no. 781 - @donni
Just dropped my toothbrush in the toilet, which narrowly beats dropping a plunger in my mouth.- @donni
May 18th
3 tags
no. 780 - @sbellelauren
here’s a complete list of all the things in life i’ve got figured out: - @sbellelauren
May 18th
8 tags
no. 779 - @slyoung5
I wish I could put my whole fucking house in the washing machine.@slyoung5
May 17th
5 tags
no. 778 - @NickFlora
How did the hipster burn his mouth? He ate the soup before it was cool. #wockawocka@NickFlora
May 16th
2 notes
May 16th
May 16th
May 16th
2 notes
May 16th
6 tags
no. 777 - @funnyoneliners
To err is human, to arr is pirate.@funnyoneliners  
May 16th
7 tags
no. 776 - @Schmoodles
~Illustrated by:@LisaAnnWilson~Hey, boys!Sex tip:1. Buy an iPod Classic. 2. Practice scrolling down to ZZ Top.@Schmoodles
May 15th
5 tags
no. 775 - @GuyEndoreKaiser
~Illustrated by Joy and Noelle ofTwins Are Weird~If you draw a bunch of Xs on the ground, every once in a while a lazy pirate will bury his gold under one of them.@GuyEndoreKaiser
May 14th
3 tags
no. 774 - @Schmoodles
~Illustrated by:@LisaAnnWilson~Toaster settings:No.1: “I do nothing.”No.2: “I do nothing.”No.3: “I do nothing.”No.4: “I SET BREAD ON FIRE!”@Schmoodles
May 14th
9 tags
no. 773 - @yoyoha
“Let’s sleep in when we can’t sleep in, and not sleep in when we can sleep in” - children@yoyoha
May 13th
May 12th
May 12th
May 12th
1 note
May 12th
2 notes
May 12th
5 notes
7 tags
no. 772 - @jessicasrcook
Proverbs are just vintage tweets@jessicasrcook
May 12th
1 note
May 11th
May 11th
May 11th
5 tags
no. 771 - @jdelwoo
what was that, dudes, you can pee standing up? sorry i couldn’t hear you over the sound of my 6th orgasm@jdelwoo
May 11th
5 tags
no. 770 - @arnie
Men are from Mars. Women are on Pinterest.@arnie
May 10th